This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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