sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize