"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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