I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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