her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
