Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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