i was born a porn star she said
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
