"it" just moved
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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