She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
