Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
