listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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