i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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