Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
