smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
