i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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