I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
