he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
