super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
