8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
