Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That accounts for only three of the penises
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I think i got beer on your cat.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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