Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
COCAINE IS GR8
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
