i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize