All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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