VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
