Taylor Swift is so right about you.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
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