All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
