You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
