is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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