I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
