My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
