We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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