peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
