my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
