I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
