I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
