Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
