We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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