DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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