I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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