he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
