party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
