people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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