did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
