he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i think i have two assholes
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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