The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
