Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
