Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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