no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
