so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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