Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
