Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
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There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
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A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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