I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
