he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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