Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Pants are for mortals
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
