I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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