oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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