Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
