I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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