it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
