First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This is my gift to your gina
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
