Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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