Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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